The news is always full of shocking or sobering stories but the ones that always grab me first are the ones about young people driven to desperation by cruelty. This week's reports about Jamey Rodemeyer, the 14 year-old victim of bullying who took his own life. What especially has especially struck me as I read this and similar stories is how extreme bullying has become. This is probably partly because social media can enable harassment in ways that were not available when I was a kid.
However, it also seems to me that our culture is going through one of those times when cruelty is acceptable and mean-spiritedness is a virtue. How can we expect kids to respect each other when the adults around them, including political and media figures, regularly make hateful statements about those who are different from them?
As a kid I tended to be what educators now call a bystander; I was among the kids who knew that social cruelty was wrong but didn't say anything when I saw it happening to classmates. I now wish that the adults in my life had taught me - no, all of us kids - how to speak up.
In school kids often choose to be bystanders because they're afraid of the possible consequences of speaking up, including being ostracized or ridiculed. But I find that as an adult it can still a be challenge to speak out against racism or other injustices. The current tide goes against generosity and civility.
However, living outside the lines often entails going outside the comfort zone. During times when hate is tolerated, uncomfortable is the right thing to be.
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