Spring might be in the air but so is a heavy mood - or so it seems to me.
During the past few months a relatively large number of friends have told me that they feel like they're "wading through sludge," are "bumping into walls everywhere" or are simply in an inexplicably somber mood. For some it's due to personal issues and for others, it's a reflection of what's been happening in the world, such as the events in Japan.
In the past, whenever I've found myself in a long blue stretch, I've resisted the feeling or tried to "fix" it, usually with a whirlwind of new projects and goals. This winter, however, while adjusting to an empty nest and the losses of several friends who've moved out of state, I decided to try just staying with the blue mood and see what would happen.
The idea came while I was listening to a replay of an interview on a radio show aired by KBPS. The host was interviewing Sting about his 2009 release Songs From the Labyrinth, a collection of songs and snatches of correspondence by John Dowland (England, 17th C.) Most of Dowland's songs are tinged with melancholy. In fact, much of the Renaissance vocal repertoire seems to revel in unrequited love, betrayal and ruminations on death.
In the interview, Sting pointed out that, to the Elizabethans, melancholy was considered a legitimate state of being and was honored in poetry and music. In the 21st C. western world we equate melancholy with depression but they're not the same thing. For Dowland and his contemporaries, melancholy is a natural reaction to life changes, maybe even a necessary passage at times.
I tried just living in the blue zone while it lasted and oddly enough (to me, anyway) I didn't feel any worse for it. And it didn't seem to hinder my ability to work & get things done. I found out that I'm better able to tolerate ambiguity and discomfort than I'd thought. After awhile it dissipated.
If you're currently in the blue zone and it isn't intense enough to be debilitating, try sitting with it for awhile. In a culture that expects everyone to be, as a friend puts it, "lite-n-brite" all the time, this can be a challenge. But you might be surprised by what you learn about yourself.
