Every year the local paper publishes a special guide to local summer activities for kids - camps, classes & activities at places like the library or Y. All the activities sound fun. But there are so many that it would be possible to fill a kid's schedule from dawn till nightfall every day. And some parents try to do this - I know because for several brief summers I was one of them.
Ten to fifteen years ago there was a prevalent parenting notion that said "left to their own devices, kids will naturally gravitate towards trouble. Keeping them busy is the only solution." Coupled with the previous decade's trend towards trying to produce superachievers, this encouraged a generation of moms to become micromanagers.
Micromanaging our kids creates several problems: they don't learn the real-life skills of time management and we become frustrated and frazzled. Saddest of all, the kids miss out on some of the greatest pleasures of childhood - impromptu play with whoever happens to be around, making up games and imaginary worlds as they go along.
Kids need unstructured play time just as adults need "down" time. And any parent who is at home with a pack of kids all day needs time to herself as well. Sometimes the best way to arrange this, as I finally discovered, is to invite a few well-behaved kids over for the afternoon and turn the backyard over to them. Provide free things like boxes that can be made into forts. Let them take favorite toys outside. Set out a big bowl of popcorn and jug of kool-aid.
Another option is taking them to a large public park. Let them play freely while you indulge in a "summer read" book.
During the past few years I've met an increasing number of parents who are opting out of summer teams sports, June-August camps and expensive "enrichment" activities all summer so that the whole family can enjoy a slower pace. Maybe mainstream culture is ready to step back from helicoptering and admit that when kids are allowed to manage themselves, they often do just fine.
Letting kids make some of their own choices allows them to exercise independence while giving the adult in charge a much-needed break.
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